The more I looked for ‘epic pictures’ the less I felt connected. And I began to wonder why. Why was it that an exercise that should have fed an appetite for adventure and love for storytelling actually bored me?
I went for a walk outside to clear my head. I made myself a coffee. I surfed the internet for inspiration. Nothing helped. It all felt flat. Very flat.
I sat back down behind my laptop and found myself flicking through a ‘painful’ reel of expedition photographs. I stumbled upon the 2015 earthquake. I still struggle to look at these images because of the feelings that resurface. Feelings that are incredibly intense and difficult to put into words – anxiety, helplessness, sadness, guilt – but also hope, happiness, humility, strength and resilience. I look back at the person I was in those photographs. Strong, connected and driven by an alignment of purpose and passion. What was so different about that person from 2015 and the person I was striving to be in my ‘epic pictures’ persona which litter my Instagram today?
Then my eyes landed on a photograph that I connected to more strongly than any photo on my ‘epic mountain reel’. The weathered, kind faces of an elderly couple that I visited in the aftermath of the earthquake on a visit into the Khumbu region. My mind went back to the day of the photograph….
The Lessons of Thame...
Between continued aftershocks and a constant threat of landslides, my journey into the Khumbu had been a daunting one, but one I undertook with a strong sense of mission and purpose. I traveled with friend Dorje Sherpa into the region to conduct an assessment of the damage and to deliver much-needed relief from our “Help Sherpa Help Nepal” fundraising efforts to the people of Thame village, just off the well-worn trail past the Sherpa capital of Namche Bazaar.
The valley of Thame and its neighboring Thameteng had been devastated by the earthquake including complete destruction of the Thame monastery, one of the oldest in the Khumbu. Any buildings that ‘survived’ the first earthquake were subsequently destroyed in the aftershocks. A total of 423 houses were damaged affecting the population of 1876 people.
On the dusty path into Thame we came across an elderly grey-haired woman standing motionless on the side of the road wearing traditional local dress accessorized by a filthy faded pink North Face jacket. Flowing between her fingers were dirt-encrusted and well-worn Buddhist prayer beads, also known as a mala. She looked blankly down the path, her face deep-set with wrinkles, a stream of tears rolling down her cheeks as she murmured mantras under her breath. I was drawn to her tired, tear filled eyes.
Dorje approached her quietly whilst I stood back and looked on trying to be respectful of their exchange. They spoke in hushed tones for a few minutes and then Dorje motioned for me to join them as we started down the dirt path in the direction of a large pile of rubble.
Sadly and alarmingly, the large pile of rubble turned out to be the remains of her home. An old man appeared. He was limping and his tattered clothes were also covered in dirt. He greeted Dorje and I with sad, tired eyes and clearly needed medical attention. My Nepali doesn’t extend much beyond “Namaste’, and I couldn’t understand a word of the conversation however the gist was clear.
Dorje translated the subtleties of the scene. The elderly couple’s home had been completely destroyed by the earthquake. The woman had been making lunch over an open fire at the time. In the chaotic aftermath of the quake, all remaining and salvageable possessions that the couple owned had been engulfed and completely destroyed by the fire. Everything they owned had been lost.
My heart churned. I didn’t know how to react. They were too old and fragile to rebuild their home. The heavy rains of the monsoon season were fast approaching. As Dorje explained the story I looked at the ground whilst my feet shifted awkwardly in the dust.
The couple and Dorje exchanged a few more words and we were invited to crawl on our hands and knees in the dirt under a warren of bright blue and orange tarps which served as a temporary shelter. It was damp, cold and smoky. Despite her age and fragility, the woman was surprisingly agile and her eyes seemed to brighten at the prospect of having us as guests in her home. I sat silently on the ground as she and Dorje continued to speak whilst her husband looked quietly on. An emanciated cat roamed in and sat down at my feet, meowed and looking up at me quizzically. I'd never felt so foreign in my life yet so much like I was exactly where I was meant to be.
Water boiled in a rusty old pot.
The woman poured me a cup of steaming black tea, topping it up with a generous spoonful of sugar. She humbly offered me the scalding tin mug with both hands, a kind, warm and strong smile on her weathered face. I accepted the tea and drank it quietly. She then turned, dug into an old plastic crate and pulled out an unopened pack of biscuits. The pack looked shiny and strange and almost cheerful with its bright yellow packaging juxtapositioned against the somber scene under the tarp.
Despite my protests she opened the packaging, looked me directly in the eye, reached out her hand and in perfect English offered, “Biscuit?”
I was certain that was one of the very few English words that she knew. I also knew that declining the ration of biscuit would have caused offense. Her eyes lit up with pride as I accepted her offering.
Dorje and the elderly couple continued to speak whilst I sat and drank bottomless cups of tea. They say that being ‘fully present’ allows you to connect with an experience and ‘feel’ it on many levels. I was overwhelmed by the energy in that small enclosed space under the bright orange tarp. It’s a feeling so intense that I can still feel it today, nearly 4 years on and I’ve gone back to that moment time and time again in the years since. I was filled with an incredible sense of purpose. I knew that the lesson of humility and kindness displayed by that couple in selflessly offering me everything they had would be a lesson that would stay with me for life.
Later that morning, the couple joined us as we continued the short walk up to Thame village where we met with the local people for the carefully organized distribution of relief. As the elderly man marked his thumb to ‘sign’ for the receipt of funds (a total of $66 per person) he looked up at me and smiled. I knew that in a very tiny way I’d made his life a little bit better and maybe even a little bit easier.
But I know in my heart that the impression that he and so many others I met that day left so much more on me.
In 2017 I returned to Thame to visit the couple, bringing my own biscuits and see how they were doing. I knocked on the door to a small two story ‘home’ built of stones and old plywood. I saw a face appear from the second floor window and the familiar smile. As the door opened we were greeted warmly and with pride, and invited into the home for tea. we made a small offering of butter and juniper on the family alter in the corner of the room.
Smiles and gestures have the power to communicate so much more than words and actions can transcend language barriers. Seeing that the elderly man was ok and that he and his wife had resiliently rebuilt their lives filled me with a tremendous sense of calm.
Before I left, I asked for a ‘selfie’. When I shared the end-result he looked at the photo in awe and wonder. His eyes filling with tears....
He looked at me, smiled and said, ‘So old!’.
I’ll never forget that day and I look forward to returning to Thame in a few weeks time.
In travel, so much inspiration is found through the stories of the people we meet along the way. A great reminder to breathe, truly live in the moment and take the time to enjoy the journey - because sometimes it is journey that IS the destination....
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