The People You Meet Along the Way: “Everything you want is on the other side of fear.”

“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” Wise words by American author Jack Canfield. The meaning of these words had been playing in my mind over the past three months since the Nepal earthquake. When the earthquake struck on April 25th, 2015, my climbing Sherpa Lhakpa and I felt its terrifying force as frozen tsunami-like waves rolled under our feet and sent us sprawling across the glacier while avalanches tumbled down around our 6,000m perch in the high Himalaya. At the time of the earthquake, we were enroute to Camp 1 on a mountain called Shishapangma, the 14th highest in the world. 

I hadn’t fully appreciated how much the earthquake its 250-plus aftershocks had affected me until I returned back to the UK in early June. I realized how constantly ‘on edge’ I’d been during those 5 weeks in Nepal after the quake. Old habits die hard. Despite being on significantly more stable bedrock of the UK, I continued to sleep with the door open to facilitate a ‘quick exit’ from my flat and felt imagined aftershocks on an almost daily basis... Even the dull rumbling of the London Underground deep under my flat would send my pulse racing. In a room or building I’d always look for the nearest exit... 

Exhausting hypervigilance.

‘Wouldn’t it be nice’, I often wondered, ‘if we received an email or a text message before an earthquake arrived…’ 

For me, life has now returned to ‘normal’ and hypervigiliance has been dialed down. But ever since my return from Nepal I’ve wondered, would I still be ok in the mountains? Those who know me well and understand my passion for mountains and mountaineering, will understand how this ‘fear’ has gnawed at my emotions and the longer term impact its had on my personal ambitions. This gnawing fear became subtle undercurrent, a controlling force, a domino effect that continued to grow and gnaw at my rational, intelligent thinking self and stopped me from pursuing two of my passions – planning to climb and climbing itself. 

My friend Nick House and alpinist and guide Jon Bracey helped to break the ice last weekend. Back in March, pre-earthquake, Nick and I decided that we would return to Switzerland this summer to climb the Eiger, a project we started 2 years ago but were knocked back on because of dangerous snow conditions. Trusting the guide, trusting your climbing partner, trusting yourself – these were aspects of climbing that had become part of my usual ‘routine’.  These elements were and will always continue to be part of the journey and are controlled aspects of climbing that fell within my comfort zone. A number of years ago I overcame a massive fear of heights. But now, I had a new challenge to overcome - trusting the earth was something that I perhaps took for granted and a new stake in the game…. 

But then we arrived in the Alps and I saw the panorama again – a mountain vista framed by blue skies and mighty snow covered peaks. Last weekend, during our acclimatization climbs on the Italian side of the Mont Blanc massif, I took a few deep breaths and said out loud, ‘You’re ok. You’re ok.’ 

And I was. 

But I know that I’m lucky.  I’m incredibly fortunate to have formal and informal support networks in place to help deal with these fears in a safe, controlled and rational way. And I feel blessed to again realize that I’m safe and happy in the high mountains… that seismic shifts are part of the inherent risks involved in mountaineering - risks that I’d perhaps never considered but have always been present. Afterall, my rational self reminds me, mountains are born from earthquakes… 

But I can’t help but wonder, what about those hundreds of thousands of people in Nepal that eek their daily lives out of the mountains, where aftershocks are now part of the new normal and the threat of the next ‘big one’ is an omnipresent and inescapable reality…? 

Whilst the headlines may have disappeared, the people of Nepal now face a silent threat that will linger long after the aftershocks have disappeared. Helping these people and doing what I can to play a role in the rebuilding – both physically and emotionally – has become part of my ‘new normal’ and a new proverbial summit and a much longer journey.

We didn’t summit the Eiger last weekend. The day of our ‘summit bid’ called for an unleashing of yet another of natures’ forces – the weather. The threat of electrical storms, heavy snow and white-out conditions had us reassess and rejig our plans for an ‘atmospheric’ and shorter climb of Trugborg while the weather system rolled in. The climb offered everything that I love about the sport – heart stopping exposure, snow/rock mix, a breathtaking sunrise, sharing a rope with new friends, and a bit of character building 4am trail-breaking…

It's also helped me to realize that my climbing journey is far from over. It’s only just begun. I’ve learned a tremendous amount from my experiences in Nepal and with these lessons come a new chapter and new opportunities – a strengthened soul, inspired ambition, and a new vision of success.  It turns out that everything I wanted was on the other side of fear all along. 

Onward and upward to the next climb and the next chapter…

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The People You Meet Along the Way: Time to get my 'Diva' on...! Shishapangma and ChoOyu 2015

Just 7% of sports media coverage is devoted to women. Only 1 in 10 people who enquire about expeditions are women. Research by universities and other sports foundations in the UK found that 2 million fewer women regularly participate in sport or exercise than men - despite 75 per cent of women aged 14 to 40 saying they’d like to do more. (source: Sport England)

But why?

It’s not about women being less adventurous than men or about there being fewer women who embrace outdoor activities. I think it has more to do with the image that it’s only Amazonian, super-athletes who go on expeditions, supported by production teams and sponsorships. There’s a perception that in making the decision to ‘see the world’ you must put both career and family on the backburner. That you have to grit your teeth for every photograph and morph into a female, long-haired mascara-wearing version of Bear Grylls.

But I know that this isn’t the case at all. I know this because the description above definitely doesn’t describe me and it doesn’t describe most of the women who I’ve met in the outdoors.

The Challenge:

From early April through to the end of May 2015 I’ll travel to Tibet to complete a ‘double header’ expedition, climbing two remote 8,000m peaks which - Shishapangma and Cho Oyu - respectively the 14th and 6th highest mountains in the world.

However, this expedition is about much more than mountains and my goals are clear:

1. To raise the profile of women in the outdoors
2. To lobby for more coverage about women in the outdoors in mainstream media
3. To increase the number of women involved in outdoor activities in every level – from those who watch it, to those playing it, all the way to those in the boardroom 

I’ll be climbing to raise money and awareness for Wellbeing of Women, a health charity dedicated to improving the health and wellbeing of women and babies around the world through research, training and education.

Some context...

The journey

I’ll be traveling overland from Kathmandu, Nepal, into Tibet through to the basecamp of my first objective - Shishapangma. Along the way, we’ll be stopping in the ancient Tibetan towns of Zhangmu, Nylam and Tingri, experiencing Tibetan culture, while stopping to walk each day in the surrounding hills to acclimate to the increasing altitude. This acclimatisation period offers a great chance to encounter the vast Tibetan plateau, the surrounding Himalayan Giants and experience the ancient Tibetan culture.

Shishapangma - the 14th highest mountain in the world

The first mountain-objective will be to climb Shishapangma, the 14^th highest mountain in the world at a height of 8,027 metres (26,335 ft). The initial 3-4 weeks will be spent acclimatising on Shishapangma, allowing my body enough time to get used to the thin air of higher altitudes while working with my Sherpa to set up the 3-high mountain camps - Camp One (6300m); Camp Two (6900m) and Camp Three (7,300m). Conditions dependent, my intention is to climb the East Peak which is the true summit of Shishapangma. The exact date of our summit push will depend on the weather window, marked by the decrease in summit winds which historically takes place around mid-May. 

Given that Shishapangma is only the first of two mountains in the challenge the timing of our ascent will be critical.

Cho Oyu - the 6th highest mountain in the world

After climbing Shishapangma we’ll will descend and immediately travel overland across the historical Tibetan plateau, stopping 20kms west of Mount Everest to make the most of the short weather window and begin our ascent of Cho Oyu, the 6^th highest mountain in the world at an altitude of 8201metres (26,906 ft). From our Base Camp of 5,650m we’ll move steadily up through the three mountain camps, making the most of the ‘pre-acclimatisation’ from the 3-4 weeks spent ascending Shishapangma. On our ascent of Cho Oyu we’ll pass through the high mountain camps of Camp 1 at 6,400 metres, Camp Two at 7,000 metres and Camp Three at 7,400 metres.  The summit climb from Camp Three will involve climbing through a short rock band just above the top camp before heading into an open couloir, which in turn leads to the 8201m summit plateau.

I certainly won’t be undertaking this tremendous challenge alone. A small team of Sherpas will accompany the entire expedition and will be integral to its success, providing a great portion of the ‘carrying power’. Having worked with teams of Sherpas on past expeditions including Everest, Lhotse and Makalu I’m very much looking forward to the insights, experience and friendship that the Sherpas bring to form the backbone of the team.

The Diva in Down

In the past 6 years I’ve spent over 13 months in total living above 5,000 metres thanks to a passion for experiencing new cultures and seeing the world from a different perspective.  

I have a full time job. I have family commitments. I have to train. 

And no, it isn’t always fun.

But yes, I do bring lipgloss.

I’m proud to be a sporty woman, a ‘Diva in Down’. And I’m proud to have earned my place in the mountains through sheer discipline, commitment, courage and creativity. 

And I’m going to keep climbing these mountains – both real and proverbial – and hope that I can inspire others to do the same.

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